midlife crisis:revisited. again and again.

Gen X Has a Midlife Crisis – NYTimes.com

there was a line in the print version that didn’t make it online – what’s up with that? did they run out of bits?

It should go without saying that a generation is a demographic fiction, and that a stage of life is something of a literary conceit.

I guess that will be my take-away from this article, from that book. instead of struggling along with the author, the reviewer, and all the millions of people worldwide who struggle with a notion of mid-life crisis, I’ll just say “no.” I’m saying, there is no such thing as mid-life. it’s a made up literary construct, akin to the middle of the story. we live  a lierary existence, we read our lives, unconsciously .  and we believe that there is a beginning, middle, and end.

of course, if you live this way, if this is they way you think, then don’t listen to me. to me, your life is fictionalized, by you, and by your culture, just so you don’t have to really think about what you are doing..another quote:

The sense that his life has been wasted — stalled by mysterious external forces rather than his own failure of will —

There it is – the author writing your character for you. The people in you hometown said you should act your age – and you listened to them! that, to me, is a waste of your life.

here’s another line that really struck me:

At a certain point, Dad buys a sports car, or starts a rock band, or has an affair or walks out on Mom or quits the law firm to make goat cheese. When this kind of thing happens to Mom, it’s not a crisis but an awakening.

Isn’t that odd?  It’s so true – it’s called a fucking crisis if your a man!  A crisis! The crisis is that you see how they’ve harnessed you and given you a feed bag (and a shitbag, behind), so that you don’t know what your eating, and your presence doesn’t get the streets dirty.  I’m glad women have awakenings – wouldn’t begrudge anyone an awakening. unfortunately, these awakenings, because they don’t get stamped CRISIS, can result in the flowering of narcissism.

your midlife crisis should be this: that you haven’t given back. haven’t given anything.

oh, you’ve “bent over backwards for those ungrateful children of yours”, or, you’ve “given, and given, and given, until you just can’t give anymore.”  But, really, you can’t evens start giving until you’re free.

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