Love is more than that

Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
Iris Murdoch
British novelist (1919 – 1999)
It’s a good start.  But if you swallow that pill and think you’re good, it’s like swallowing one aspirin for you migraine – or two, or three.  But not enough.
Everything begins with a realization.  We know that.  It’s what you then do with that knowledge.  Granted, most people don’t even get to the starting point.  Further, it’s misdleading in that you might think too little of the fullness of the realization – you might say to me, “Kam, I fucking know that something other than myself is real.  Thanks!”  So, that’s not it.
Knowing should be feeling, and feeling in such  a way that it influences your behavior, almost, one could say, “subconsciously” (oooh! some kinda voodoo!).  No.  Not voodoo.  you have to change your behavior.  Otherwise, your realizations are diary entries, and, the diary is for YOUR therapy, not for this newly discovered  something other than oneself.
Now, you have to love that something other than oneself.  And that’s the part the quote doesn’t cover. Love is
  1. ongoing.  sustained. this does not require work, as people believe: it requires something much more mystical.  Refer to <insert hundreds of Hindu texts, Socrates, Jesus>.
  2. reciprocal. they have to love you back. (and sustain that). this is a deal-breaker. if one drops the ball, the other is just out.

So, where this all falls down is, you, the lover, simply have to have a relatively developed personality – in many other areas!  One revelation is not enough!  You, the lover, need to do all kinds of other personal work on a daily basis: self-improvement, examination of personal integrity – maybe you have managed to care for a pet!  Seriously!  Maria Montessori had as a basic principal, the care a nurturing of small animals (rabbits), because …

“The child who has felt a strong love for his surroundings and for all living creatures, who has discovered joy and enthusiasm in work, gives us reason to hope that humanity can develop in a new direction.” (Education and Peace, Maria Montessori, page 58).

 

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